My gut. That feeling.
That deep-down, feel-it-in-my-bones, can’t-ignore-the-whispering feeling. It’s been bubbling to the surface for some time now, and the message is crystal clear:
“You need to do something different. And you know what it is.”
I listen, but only for a moment. In that brief instant, I feel my heart expand and the corners of my mouth turn upward. For a second, as I give myself permission to beckon the call, I feel alive.
But the moment doesn’t last long. The brain shuts it down, fast.
“Nope. That’s not going to work. What will people think? You’ll do it wrong. It’s too risky.”
Those tiny fears turn into full-blown justifications as the feeling gets nudged away. It’s pushed further from my gut until the brain can grab it and mold it into something different. Something more practical. Something acceptable.
Before long, I’m on a whole new path—one that I’ve convinced myself is “right.” The only problem is everytime a new path is forged separate from the one my gut wants me to take, my heart knows it. And no matter how hard the brain tries to keep me moving forward, my gut gets louder and louder until that feeling comes back.
It’s a cycle that makes me feel like a crazy person who can’t stay still.
This time I not only listened, but I’ve also decided to act. I’ve shut off the imposter roads. I’m in this for real.
My greatest life lesson has been on the back burner for some time.
I’ve tried attending to other things while it continues to boil over, demanding attention because I know not everyone is going to like what I have to say. But for those who are willing to sit with me, listen, and show up curious—I know together we can start to have the conversations our world desperately needs.
It’s an exploration of belonging, beliefs, polarities, community, and truth. Like most journey’s worth taking, it will have plenty of twists, turns, and unexpected epiphanies. I don’t profess to have any answers, just plenty of questions worth exploring, together.
Here’s to 2019. The year I pull back the layers, connect the dots, and speak my truth. I hope you’ll join me.